New Arrival: Honeysuckle Blend Healing Oil

Let's talk about stress. Everybody's got it. You've got it, I've got it, the guy who bottles this oil probably has it too — which is convenient, because now he's selling you the cure.

It's called Honeysuckle Blend Healing Oil. Ten milliliters, fifty-eight dollars. Works out to $5.80 a milliliter, which sounds insane until you remember what people pay for coffee with an Italian name and a size that isn't actually a size.

Roll it on your wrist, your neck, wherever. Not your eyes — apparently that's still a boundary in this business. Inside: honeysuckle, bitter orange, lavender, jojoba. Real plants. Not "natural flavoring." Not "essence of." Actual honeysuckle.

Does it fix your life? No. Does it smell better than your life currently smells? Also yes. New arrival. Go smell nice.